Where one person starts yelling, another shuts down and says nothing, while another starts sniping.
These fascinating differences are indicators of differing behavioural intentions that have been thwarted.
Once you understand these differences, you will be less inclined to personalise difficult behaviour.
With good communication skills you can turn conflict into cooperation, emotion into reason, and hidden agendas into honest dialogue.
All behaviour has a purpose an intention that the behaviour is trying to fulfil. The DISC behavioural profile model identifies a framework of four intents that relate to difficult behaviours.
- Get the task done
- Get it down right
- Get along with people
- Get appreciation from people
These intentions change as your priorities change.
Cast your mind back to when you last tried to get something complex finished and behind you.
Chances are you were very laser focused on the task at hand. It felt good ploughing through the task.
People around you were ignored unless they were part of solving your task.
You sped up rather than slowing down, and you became more assertive and deliberate.
You might even have become a bit careless with the details or even dare I say more aggressive or shorter with people.
You may have tended to look before leaping, speak without thinking.
What about a time when you wanted not to make mistakes?
Getting it right was your highest priority.
Things slowed down enough for you to see the details.
You investigated thoroughly, and you looked and looked before leaping – if you had ever leapt at all.
You may have even refused to take action because you doubted the outcome.
What about a time when you wanted to get along with other people?
You may have found yourself less assertive as you put their needs above your own.
If someone asks you where you would like to have lunch, and you reply, “Where would you like to go?”
They may want to get along too, and say, “Where ever you like, are you hungry?”
To which you might reply “Are you hungry?”
Personal desires in this situation have become of lesser importance, that to help get along with other people.
The desire to contribute and be appreciated is one of the most powerful motivational forces known.
Studies show that people who are the happiest in marriage or work feel for what they do and who they are.
If getting appreciated is your intent, then when asked if you would like to go to lunch, you may be able to say, “There is this fantastic restaurant, let me take you there, you will love it! People thank me all the time for taking them there”.
Perform Zone runs leadership workshops that teach you how to spot different types of natural behavioural profiles and how to tailor your communication style to get the best from them and minimise arguments.
Sit our free DISC questionnaire to see what the DISC model tells you about your behavioural profile.